Birthday

Today is my birthday. I’m 24 years old. Not so old in people years, though pretty old for say, a pair of pants, or an azalea bush, or a cupcake (yum).

Birthdays have always been important days for me, not only because of the obvious cake and ice cream and presents etc, but because i’m always struck with the amazingness of being alive (cheesy, I knoww), and that this day was day I, Cassie, really became a distinct and separate person. If I’d been born on a different day who knows if I’d been the same - what if I’d been born in November, the sequence of events that followed would have been completely different, my life’s experiences could have been different enough to shape me into a different person than i am today.

I don’t really mind the getting older too much at this stage; it actually helps with my job if I actually look like I’ve been around long enough to know something about which I speak, and plus I’m not that old according to anyone I speak to who’s older than I am. I always end up thinking about where I am in my life on my birthday. I remember lots of past birthdays thinking things like “I wish I was more popular (age 13)” or “I wish I was prettier (age 8-16)” or “I wish so and so would like me (age 12-16)” or more recently, “I wish I was home to share this day with my family (age 22)”. I guess my birthday kind of spurs New Year’s resolution type thoughts, about what I’d like to have happen in my life by my next birthday. And lots of philosophical type thoughts about life and individuality and fate and such, obviously.

This year, perhaps I’m growing up a bit, or I’m less demanding, or I actually have most of what I want in my life, because I can’t think of any one strongly dominant thought about what I want to have changed in my life by my next birthday. The most concrete one I can think of is that I’d like to have our debt paid down a bit, but that’s a generic homeowner type thought. I think i’ve changed a bit as I’ve grown older (ok, probably a lot more than a bit) because I’ve moved away from wanting things to happen in a year, or from thinking that “all i need to be happy is -”.

I am happy today, on the anniversary of my birth, because it’s another mark on the path of my life, and I’ve finally become friends with the thought that life goes where it wants and you can affect where it goes somewhat with your actions and plans, but have to be prepared for fate and chance and change to happen. And I’ve been so fortunate, because in the past fate has delivered me many events that seemed undesirable at the time, but that have in the end changed my life in positive ways that I couldn’t imagine not having happened now.

Today I am thankful for my life, my parents who did such a good job raising me, my sisters who grew up next to me and fought and played with me, my friends whom I’ve had adventures with, my job that challenges me to grow and improve, my pets that give me unconditional love, and my husband who is more to me than words can really describe.

And I’m thankful for presents - especially the lovely leather sandals Mike’s taking me shopping for later today :).