Am thinking of Using My Bike as My Commute Vehicle…

Awhile ago my windshield was hit by some mysterious object, probably a rock, resulting in a nice starburst in the lower righthand side. Most of it is in the corner, but one crack is now spreading across the windshield from the passenger side in a the exact direction of where I look when I’m driving. I put off doing anything about it because I was annoyed, but not annoyed enough to deal with insurance and such. Turns out I should have taken care of it then, just so I won’t have to pay for it at the same time as…

The Deer Incident.

I was almost home from work tonight, driving through the dimly lit Bayview streets, when I turned the last corner to my house and saw two deer standing smack dab in the middle of my lawn. Probably finishing off my baby Japanese maple. I always drive slowly through Bayview at night, especially in the colder months, because great herds of ravenous white tailed deer roam the yards and streets in search of expensive shrubbery. And actual food (some of it surely fermented grains… it would expain what happened next…) that some brilliant people (my retired neighbors, AKA 95% of the population of Bayview) leave out on purpose near their houses for the deer to eat. I’m sure this whole thing is THEIR fault.

So I see these deer, slam on my breaks, glare and curse at the wretched animals, and slowly drive towards my opening garage door. When…. one of the deer, the one with at least 2 IQ points, walks calmly the other way into the shadows. This is what they usually do when encountered with a real live human within 20 feet of them - show a complete lack of fear, and way too much disdain. This is what I expected the other one to do. But no. The other one, apparently in visiting from the country, chased after the other one for a few feet, wheeled about, and proceeded to run in a drunken frenzy (only explanation for how DUMB this animal was) directly at my car. I slammed on my breaks again (going a whole five miles an hour) just in time for the stupid thing to… RUN INTO MY CAR AT FULL GALLOP.

So now my car (which got a new bumper just a few months ago after someone backed into it, so I know how much this sort of thing costs) will get a new side fender panel thingy because it’s all dented up from where the deer’s feet clattered into it. I don’t know what it’s actually called, but it’s the part above the right front wheel. Amazingly, the deer cleared the rest of the car, kind of sliding across the hood, leaving as far as I can tell only a slight scratching of the paint and a clump of fur. The deer landed on its feet and ran crazily off into the dark.

I’m thinking of getting a hunting license.